Tuesday, April 30, 2013

PERFECTION.


Did You Miss Me? [UNEDITED]

Time check. It was 11:00 in the evening. In just an hour, its going to be her birthday. I look at her with swollen eyes. For 7 years, I have been doing the same routine. Hoping that she would wake up from her living nightmare.

Long story to short, the person I love is comatosed.

I hold her hand, wishing it would move. Hoping she would open her eyes, and say, “Did you miss me?” But instead, I felt her cold hand. So cold, you would think that she’s the Ice Queen. But she wasn’t dead yet. I looked around, and saw the aircondition on high.

I wonder if she’s cold?

I remember the day that dreaded accident happened. It was our second year in high school. She was happily jumping around, it was our 5th monthsary at that time. One minute, she was smiling happily at me. The next thing I knew, she was lying on the ground unconcious.

I looked around, and saw her teddy bear. It was old and worn-out, but still she treated it with care. I wonder if she misses hugging it? I looked at the time. It was already 12:00. Time passed by so quickly.

“Happy Birthday, Cassie.” I told her while kissing her forehead.

Its already her birthday, and in a few hours would be my college graduation ceremony. Would she be able to wake up? I hope so. I slowly closed the door, and while I was walking home, I prayed to God.

The next day, everyone was smiling and laughing. Some were also congratulating me, and I did the same. After our graduation, came the crying scene. But instead of crying, I just smiled at them instead. What good would crying do?

Some invited me to go to the bar, but I just apologised to them and said I can’t come. I told my family, that I’ll be heading to the hospital. They just nodded at me. They understood my situation.

As I was on the door, I couldn’t help but look at a girl sitting in the corner, she was pale and looked like she hadn’t eaten a single thing for weeks.

I slowly approached her, and sat beside her. She looked at me, but didn’t say anything.

I was shocked when she suddenly held my hand, and began to cry. She was crying. That was it. She wasn’t saying anything, she was just crying.

“What are you crying about?” She held up her head, and looked at my eyes directly.

Her lips were pale, and her eyes were swollen. Maybe from crying? But you can still see a little bit of spark in her eyes. Her lips were pale pink.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have acted like that... Its just that!” she formed her knuckles into a fist, “I’m so frustrated!”

I laughed at her frustation, “What seems to be the problem?”

She sighed, “I’ve been anemic since I was born. But lately I’ve been going in and out of the hospital every month. I’m so tired!!”

I smiled at her, “You should be thankful, because God still gave you time to be with your loved ones. Some people out there, are surviving for their lives.”

She bit her lower lip, she was trying not to cry, “I know that... But isn’t God a little bit unfair?! I’m still 13 years old, but I think my time is slowly coming!!” She said while scratching her head.

Again, I laughed at her, “God is never unfair. You do know that everything has a reason, right? You shouldn’t say things like that. God knows everything, so we musn’t question Him.”

She became silent. I saw a tear fell from her eye, but she immediately wiped it, “What are you doing here anyway? Are you a nurse?” She smiled.

“Nope. I’m here to visit my girlfriend.”

She laughed, “Oh! I’m sorry. Is she a nurse or a doctor?”

“She’s comatosed.” I said firmly, while holding my tears, “For 7 years.”

She patted my back, “Cry all you want. I did the same a few moments ago, so you can cry too.”

I just nodded at her, and unconciously, I started crying.

It was my fault why she got hit by that truck. It was all my fault. I didn't save her in time. All these years I have been blaming myself. Her family wasn’t a bit angry at me at all. They were even thankful, that I got her to the hospital. I was shocked on how they reacted with it. But instead of shouting back that they should be angry at me, I started crying. It was my first time to cry. I mean, I don’t even cry at my grandparents deaths’. But there I was, crying like a little baby.

“Everything will be alright. I gotta go now, okay?” She said, then left.

I wiped my tears, and slowly dragged my feet to Cassie's room.

I looked at her. Her conditions were still the same. Her vital organs were stable, so there wasn’t any problem. I looked at the cross on the top of her.

Why her God? Why couldn’t it be me? Yeah, if she was in the position I am now, she would be saying the same line, but it would hurt less if I was in her position right now.

I was about to sleep when I heard a knock on the door. It was still visiting hours, so I opened it. Much to my surprise, it was our classmates in high school. They all circled the bed.

“Did she show any sign of waking up?” Clarisse asked, our former class president in high school.

“No.” I answered while bowing my head.

“Can I cry?” Alina asked,  we were all shocked because she would always laugh at our classmates when they were crying. And here she is now, asking if she can cry. I just nodded.

She kneeled beside the bed, “You are such a dummy!! *sniffs* Wake up already will you? You told me you would treat me to pizza! *Sniff* Wake up and fulfill that promise! I’m tired of waiting you know? Don’t you know, every thought of you being here, I end up crying?! *Sniffs* Gosh Cassie, why are you doing this to me?! You’re making me such a girl! *Sniffs*” She became silent for a while but suddenly said, “I miss you so much.” Then in an instance everyone began crying.

I smiled at the sight. I’m not a sadist or something to smile at the sight of people crying. But hearing all those words coming out from Alina, it made me warm inside.

I went outside. I know they all need some time alone. My feet brought me to the chapel. So I knelt down, and prayed.

“Lord? How many years do I still have to wait for her to wake up? The biggest question is, will she even wake up again?” I shook my head, “Nah. You wouldn’t do that, Lord. I know you won’t.” I did the sign of the cross, and left the chapel.

When I arrived at the hospital room, she was all alone. I was shocked, when I saw piles of letters on the drawer beside her. I don’t mean to be nosy, but I get the feeling that I should read them. I picked the first letter on the pile...

Dear Cassie,
Its’ our graduation day today! Hooraay! We’re going to be in college already! Here are some pictures, I thought that if you would wake up, you would want to see them. I asked each and every student in our batch, if I can take an individual picture of them. I remembered what you told me in our freshman years, you told me, that when we graduate you want to have a remembrance from all of the students in our batch. I miss you girl. I stopped my vices the moment I heard about you. Please, please, PLEASE, get well, and wake up soon.
Love, Veronica

Veronica Perez. She was the foreign exchange student from Spain. Everyone was afraid to befriend her because she used to smoke and drink, but because of Cassie, she made a lot of friends. I opened the letter, and pictures fell.

Somehow it brought tears to my eyes, I saw pictures of each and everyone of our batch. Two pictures from each person actually, one was a formal shot, then the other one was holding a cardboard infront with messages to Cassie. But the picture that really touched my heart, was the picture of everyone, and I mean EVERY ONE of our batch holding a big poster that said, “WE MISS YOU CASSIE. WAKE UP SOON. WE’LL BE WAITING FOR YOU.”

I thought to myself, where was I at this moment? Oh yeah, I was busy taking care of her.

The next letter was from, Emily.

Dear Cassie,
This is ackward, but I’M SORRY. Sorry for everything. I don’t even know where to start? Well maybe because ever since grade school I was always bullying you. Can you ever forgive me? I never did hated you from the start, I was just jealous. I admit that even though I talk to you most of the time, I backstab you to my friends. I don’t even know what to do. I know my sorry is not enough, but I am literally begging here. Please forgive me. I regret everything I did. When you wake up, I hope we can be friends.
Sincerely, Emily

I smile again. Cassie would be so happy if she read this. I know she will. The next letters, were all sorry and thank you, or maybe they would recall their memories together with Cassie. The last letter, was from our class in second year high school. Cassie’s last moment in her high school days.

Oh? Didn’t I tell you? She had the accident, two months before the summer. After that summer, we were supposedly to be in our third year of high school. But because of what happened, she didn’t reached it.

Dear Cassie,
WE MISS YOU. 7 years had passed, but still we couldn’t accept what happened to you. Its just so hard to accept. Of all people, why you? You are sweet, funny, caring, and friendly. Everything a person would want to have as their friend. Its funny because everytime we talk about you, instead of feeling sad or cry, we end up remiscing all our memories together with you. You were that bossy vice-president, but in a good way. You remember the boys who always wore piercings, and you always scold them? Well, good news. The moment they heard about what happened to you, they removed their piercings, and started acting like, REAL STUDENTS! You were also our love guru. Who would’ve thought that a fourteen year old teenage girl, who never had any experience in love or relationships, can give advice that actually works? One time when we visited you at the hospital, it was like HAVOC! We were like a mini market, but we were actually noisier than a real market! But when we saw you there lying unconcious in that bed, all pale, and dressed in white clothes, we became silent. Nobody spoke a word, we just stared at you. We were all surprised when Sienna suddenly arrived with a boy with sunglasses, and a big hat. He looked like a foreigner. Sienna was breathing heavily, and when she closed the door. We all stared at him. At first we thought, is this Mark? But the guy was taller, and Mark told us he was just going to get some air outside. Sienna sat down, when suddenly the guy took of his sunglasses and his hat. We were all like, “WHAT THE HECK?!” Sienna brought your most loved korean idol girl!! He even sang you your favorite song. When he was singing, we couldn’t help but just cry. When he finished singing, he kissed your forehead. YOU ARE SO LUCKY GIRL! Good thing, Mark wasn’t there. Hahaha. Don’t tell him, okay? And since we saw your phone at the table, we asked him if he could take a picture of himself, and another picture of both of you! You were unconcious at that time, but I know you would be hysteric once you would see that picture. So you MUST wake up soon, okay? We will always be here for you, remember that. FRIENDS FOREVER!

Love, II-Macademia

I admit I laughed when I read the line, “When he finished singing, he kissed your forehead. YOU ARE SO LUCKY GIRL! Good thing, Mark wasn’t there. Hahaha. Don’t tell him, okay?” Actually, I wouldn’t get angry, because I trust Cassie, and even though she’s addicted to kpop idols out there, I know she wouldn’t exchange me for them.

But as a concerned boyfriend, and I want to see that picture. I opened Cassie’s phone and saw the two pictures. I smile. I remembered the time when Cassie and I weren’t still together. Every break time, she would go outside the classroom, and sing her favorite kpop song, and even dance the steppings! Sometimes I even see her classmates teasing her, because of her addiction. But they manage to laugh together in the end. That was the time I began to fall in love with her. I admit that she wasn’t actually pretty. She had bags under her eyes, and a few pimples on her face. But the moment you see her smile. You would just stand there and say, “Breathtaking”.

I put her cellphone down. I was about to sleep, when I saw her hand move. In an instance, I shouted for the nurse and doctor. They immediately went inside, and asked if I could wait outside.

Oh God. Please let her live. I promise I would love her forever. I will wait for her, even if it will take 20 years. Just let her live. I’m begging, Lord! Even if she can’t talk or hear, I’ll accept her because I love her. I won’t argue if you give her some defects, because that’s what your plan is. But please, just let her live.

I sat outside the door. I was sweating real hard. My hands were shaking. And so were my feet. I was surprised when suddenly the door opened and doctor and the nurse came out.

“What are you to the patient?” The nurse asked me.

“I’m her boyfriend.”

She smiled at me, “Well its your luck. Sleeping beauty just woke up from her slumber.” Then she patted my back, then left.

I immediately went inside and saw her sitting on her bed. I was surprised to see that she was crying.

SHE WAS READING THE LETTERS.

She didn’t notice me, instead she cried even harder. But when she saw me, she gasped. And more tears came out. I ran and hugged her. I hugged her so tight. I missed her so much. I let go, and eyed her. Though she was still thin, and pale. I can finally see life in her eyes and smile.

“Hey. Stop crying.” I told her, while wiping her tears.

She cried even harder, “W-was I r-really in a *hik* coma f-for the l-last *hik* s-seven y-years?”

I laughed, “Yeah. But that was in the past, right? Let’s forget about it.” And I hugged her again. She read the letters. She looked really funny, because she would laugh, then cry, then laugh again. Thank you, God. Thank you so much.

I stood up, “I’m just going to buy something to eat, then I’m going to call your family, okay?” She just nodded.

I went to the nearest convenience store. Just a couple of blocks away from the hospital. I brought, two hot chocolate, bread, four junkfoods, and a pack of gumballs. After I finished paying, I immediately called her parents.

“Hello?”
“Oh! Its’ you Mark. Why did you call?”
“She’s awake.” I reply, smiling widely.
“W-what?! RONALD! CASSIE IS AWAKE!!! (WHAT?!?!) YES! MARK IS TELLING ME RIGHT NOW! Thank you for calling dear, I know we could trust you. We’ll be right there in 15 minutes. Take care!” Then she hunged up.

When I was heading back to the hospital. I was shocked, when infront me was...








































The hospital in flames.

I dropped the bags, and immediately went inside, not caring if I was going to die after this. On my way to her room, I could see the patients all crying for help. The nurses were already coughing from the smoke. I was about to reach Cassie’s room. When I saw a familiar looking face.

It was the anemic girl, and she was lying in the floor coughing heavily.

Without having second thoughts, I carried her on my back. It wasn’t a big deal since I was a weight-lifter back in high school.

She didn’t talk, nor did she cry. She just burried her head in my back, so that she wouldn't inhale the smoke.

When I opened Cassie’s room, I was surprised when she was sitting next to the window, holding all the letters, pictures, including her cellphone.

She smiled at me, a smile that I haven’t seen in years, “Do you know, I have a picture together with my favorite kpop idol?!” She looked at my eyes, but turned away, “I’m so happy right now, Mark. I have everything. I made a new friend...” Then she showed me Emily’s letter, “Veronica even gathered all those pictures, our classmates in second year managed to remember me after all these years, I had a picture with my favorite kpop idol, he even sang to me and kissed me in the forehead.” She suddenly went near me, “But what I’m most happy is that you stayed beside me, when you know there’s a 50% chance that I wouldn’t even wake up anymore. Thank you, Mark and I love you. I’m happy now, and you should find your happiness now.”

I don’t know why, but I began crying, “What are you talking about, Cassie?! Do you know how many people cried because of you? What about your family?! What about your friends?! What about... Me?” I was crying right now.

She smiled at me again, and kissed me on my lips, but it was just a smack, “After this, I want people to cry because of happiness and laughter, for they remember the good times I had with them. As for my family, they will understand, because I know we’ll see each other soon. They will eventually move on, and so can you Mark.” She smiled at me again.

I wanted to hug her so badly this time, but I can’t move my arms because I was carrying the anemic girl.

I was about to talk when Cassie talked again, “Goodbye Mark. Tell that girl to never give up on her sickness. Remember, I love you Mark, and I will always protect you. Remember me always.” And after she said those words, everything went black and I didn’t even say 'I love you too' back at her.

2 weeks later...

“Are you okay Mark?” My mother asked me, while handing me a glass of water. I had been admited to another hospital, I had so many bruises and burns, but luckily, I came out alive. And as for that anemic girl? She’s in the same hospital as mine, she's still on medication, but she became more cheerful and positive.

After that incident at the hospital, I admit I still haven’t accepted the fact that she was gone... FOREVER. When they found her body, they were shocked after removing all the ashes from her body, for they found her smiling while holding the burned letters, pictures, and her cellphone tightly. Instead of dying from her coma, she died because of suffocation.

I still dream of her sometimes at night, but not those kinds of dreams that are scary. Instead, I see those moments when we were still together in second year high school.

“M-Mark?” I looked at my sister, she was holding a micro sd card. The ones that are like a cellphone’s memory card.

“What is it?” I asked her.

“You must see this.” She got out her laptop, and inserted the memory card. I was shocked when the name of the memory card was, “CassieIsAwesome”.

“Is that C-Cassie’s?” I managed to utter. She just nodded at me. I was surprised when a video started playing.

“Hi Mark!” She waved at the camera, “I miss you so much, I’m sorry that I have to leave early, okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I think this is for the best. I am happy, because on my last day here on earth, you were the last person I saw. Thank you for your love, Mark. Favor please? Learn to love again. I will support you, but if that girl is a bad influence. I suggest she starts packing her bags.” Then she laughed, “Mom, dad? I’m sorry if I haven’t been a very good daughter to you. Though I disobey you two sometimes, always remember that I love the two of you, okay? This is my last message, so I want to thank the two of you for feeding me, taking care of me, and most importantly, LOVING ME. Your love is the only thing that I want in this world. Mom, dad, don’t cry after this, okay? You two will surely look weird. Hahaha. I’m just joking. I will miss you two.” Then she suddenly bowed down, after a few minutes she raised her head again, but she was already crying, “To all my friends, don’t forget me okay? You do know that I hate being forgotten. Hahaha. Thank you for everything, and Emily? I already forgave you years ago. And I’m thankful that we’re friends now. Goodbye everyone, I will miss you all!” She was about to stop the video, when suddenly she sighed and smiled widely, “Now I ask all of you, DID YOU MISS ME?” Then the video stopped.



*********



END.

Sehun & Luhan ^^


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